To be Remembered
by kohmaru
Summary: If she couldn't love him, she would at least remember.


**To be Remembered**

**Disclaimer: Not mine- don't sue. **

The feeling was a bit like standing to fast when the blood remains in your feet, a bit like vertigo, but not quite. So Kagome swayed where she stood and then slumped to the ground, in a not altogether graceful way.

" W-why Kouga-kun?" Her voice sounded weak even in her own ears, half demanding, half pleading- almost like a gust of wind running over bare tree branches in winter catching the last leaf of a bygone season- there was a unspoken finality to it.

He tried to laugh; she could tell that was what the sound was attempting to be. A laugh that was clearly meant to say, you know of course you know why. It was a painful sound, failing so horribly to convey his meaning. He gave up, turning his head away from her where he lay on the ground.

"I wonder…"he said quietly, not a question, but a statement meant to accomplish what his laugh could not.

She knew of course, that he felt things, that there were feelings, maybe love maybe something like it, or at least she knew that he professed such but knowing and understanding are not necessarily the same. Honestly she still didn't understand.

"But, why…" She trailed off catching his hands in her own, willing him to face her.

Kouga turned his head back towards her, his prone form seeming smaller, younger, vulnerable in the diminishing light, his crystalline eyes searching her face.

"I'm a coward," he rasped in a way that seemed off hand, like he was changing the subject not answering the question. Before Kagome could protest he squeezed her hand.

"This is all I can do," he smiled sadly shaking his head. " You'll remember this moment," certainty shining bright in his eyes, " and some day you'll understand."

His eyes hardened, he turned his head seeking out the familiar red clad form off in the distance finishing the job Kouga could not, " It was never going to be me." Again not a question.

Kagome could hear the hard edge to his tone, and when he turned again catching her in his crystalline gaze she knew the anger was not directed at her and knew without asking that he didn't mean the jewel, that the jewel had never been important. But still she couldn't refute his claim, she had never thought of him that way.

Even now with red blood staining the ground, mortal wounds taken in her stead, she didn't understand, she couldn't say that her heart had every really considered him.

Of course he wanted to be contradicted, Kouga's pride demanded it, but he knew it to be the truth so it only stung a little when she didn't fling herself into his arms with words of reassurance and terrible gnashing of the teeth at the injustice of it all.

He released her hands at last and in one sure movement sliced a lock of hair from his head. Deftly twining it into a braid he placed it in her hands, lingering for a moment.

"Youkai don't reincarnate, one body one soul, one chance." His eyes were a little glassy and much to his embarrassment a tear broke past the barrier of his long lashes and trailed down his temple to his earlobe. He cleared his throat quickly and smiled as winningly as he could manage, as if even in his final moments manly posturing was necessary.

"This was enough," and to his surprise he found that it was true. This moment, with Kagome smiling sweetly at him, tears in her eyes, hands loosely held, with no Inuyasha yowling like a rabid dog in background, was enough. And then he smiled, a real smile as disarming as it had ever been. He released her then and as she looked down at the ribbon of hair she saw the faint glitter of the shikon shards sequestered in its dark length and when she looked again he was gone, no trace that he had ever lain scant inches from her. No physical sign that he had ever stolen her away, professed his love, argued so brashly with her friends, that he had ever walked in the land of men, nothing save for a woven strand of hair and memories.

Later when the dust of battle had cleared and Inuyasha had finished his gloating over the ease of the kill, unaware of how close Kagome, herself, had come to dieing, he scanned the tree line and smirked.

" So where did that wimpy wolf run off to?" He asked, helping Kagome to her feet.

He grouched slightly when she didn't immediately respond, her attention captured by what appeared to be a lock of hair woven into an intricate braid.

As if storm clouds suddenly rolled in, Inuyasha's body stiffened and he made as if to grab the hair from her hand, but before her could she had stuffed the band of hair into her bra right above her heart, where even impetuous Inuyasha would not quickly follow.

If anything this action served to enrage the hanyou more, cursing loudly he declared, " When I see that bastard again I'll shove Tetsusaiga so far up his…" the rest was lost as Kagome trailed away from the fuming hanyou, though she was fairly certain she knew how the sentence would have finished.

Clearly the hair meant more than simply a remembrance, which made her chuckle a little. How like Kouga to vex Inuyasha even in death. She patted the place where it was secreted above her heart, she would remember, and some day she would understand.

**A/N**- After a long hiatus I'm finally back, or at least more seriously thinking a updating. This is just a short one shot. Though I did have several ideas of how to end this differently and turn it into a longer story- but I figured one thing at a time- so enjoy- and if you want leave a review.


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